Saying, “I’m sorry,” can be hard for people. When I think about why, it is a pretty systemic issue. Saying, “I’m sorry,” carries with it a connotation of guilt, shame, bad, mistake, etc. Not all of those things are necessary to be “sorry”, but that tends to be our feelings. In our society, when someone makes a mistake, we deal with that by punishing them. We hope that the punishment will teach them to not make mistakes again. Punishment does not teach. It might work to control people sometimes, but does not teach people anything.
The result of this punishment/reward based society is that people are afraid of being accountable and responsible for fear of being punished. Saying, “I’m sorry,” and accepting that you made a mistake means potentially significant pain inflicted on you by others and by yourself.
It does not have to be that way! The universe does not want us to be ashamed of being human, making mistakes, being accountable for something we did that hurt others. It does not want to inflict pain on us for being human. We make mistakes. Making mistakes is how we learn. Trial and error is exactly every human experience. We are all flawed.
What if when we made mistakes, we accepted accountability for the mistake, and then responsibility for making a change moving forward? Instead of punishing each other for mistakes, we loved each other, were understanding, forgiving, and supported each other to learn from our actions in the moment. What kind of people would we become? If I didn’t have to worry about shaming, blaming, punishment, pain etc., would I be a better human? Could I be better at accepting accountability for my actions and thus make it easier to make changes moving forward? Would other people be more willing to accept their accountability for their actions and responsibility for making changes, if I didn’t shame them and punish them for their mistakes.
So much guilt!! Guilt does not make us better humans. It makes us small and powerless. Accountability is strength. Responsibility is strength. I have the power to be accountable for all of my actions and a responsibility to make changes if my actions do not work toward the positive benefit of others and myself. If I do something that does not lift up the energy of the universe, that is mine to own. I do not feel ashamed of my actions. I am accountable for them though. I also take responsibility for making changes as I move forward.
Today, try to focus on being accountable and responsible, not guilty, ashamed, small, bad, etc. Remember that as a human, you are designed to be flawed and make many, many mistakes. That is our purpose, to learn from experiences. If we started out perfect and made no errors, what would we learn about anything? Remember that about others also. No one needs to be punished. We all need to be accountable and responsible for ourselves.
Mantra for the day: I am accountable and responsible for myself and my actions. I will make changes when I am wrong. I will learn from experiences. I will be loving and forgiving of myself and others.
Namaste, I am sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.