How often did you notice you were creating stress for yourself when things were possibly going to change, changing or had changed? Was it a few times throughout the day? Was it constantly throughout the day? Was it all day for one thing, or all day for a few things? Was is just every little thing all day long? Did you notice that you didn’t do it at all?
Did you also notice how long or intense it was when that happened? Did you write anything down when you noticed or just make a mental note? The first action you can take in the noticing phase of anything is to write it down. Take a couple of days and instead of just noticing in your mind, make a count of it somehow. You can download counters for just about anything for your phone, but a piece of paper and pencil also work. Something you can keep in your pocket.
Once you get a handle on this first action of keeping track of your stress inducing habits, notice what they are about, and track that too. Instead of just a tally mark for each time you do it, notice what it was about, and write that down too.
Are you struggling with knowing you have thoughts and emotions that might be stressful, but they don’t seem to be about change? Think about those some more. When you get upset with another person, why? Did they say something rude to you, or hurtful? We have talked about why that isn’t about them, it is your vision of what they said or did that hurts you, but also it is about change. What they did changed something for you. Was it how you viewed them? Was it how you viewed yourself? Was it how you viewed the relationship or situation? Was it how you see the world is supposed to be, but it’s not when people try to do whatever that person did and try to change it?
Having hurt feelings is completely about being resistant to change. Whatever hurt your feelings changed whatever it was you were thinking before it was done or said to something you didn’t like, and now you are upset about losing those thoughts or feelings you had before. You are upset at losing the vision of reality that you were holding onto that now you no longer see because of what that other person did or said.
So, when people start changing your world view, move your stuff, invade your space, do something unexpected, and that change causes you anger, fear, anxiety, frustration or resistance of any kind, take Action 1, write it down. Do this for a few days and see how often you are really causing yourself stress.
I get it. Right now you might be feeling some stress about what you are reading here. We all like to hold onto our personal world view of how things are and should be. When people, situations, or acts of nature try to change that, it messes with us in profound ways sometimes. We don’t like to change. I am not telling you that you have to change. I am providing information on what you might be doing that causes you stress, how that stress might be contributing to your sense of wellness, and what you can try to do differently to feel better. You get to choose if you want to do that or not. You get to choose if what I am saying even resonates with you or works for you. I know some stuff that might help some people, but I do not know what works for you. Only you get to choose that. I am just here to share what I have learned that works for me, and has worked for some other people. What works for you is for you to decide.
Mantra: I notice my stress inducing thoughts and emotions. I notice how I react to changes around me. I write down those thoughts and emotions to better understand myself.
Namaste, I love the changes in me and in you.