Resiliency is born from confidence and humility. It is created by the idea of radical vulnerability. We are not weak when we are vulnerable. We are at our strongest. It takes courage and strength to face our fears, rejection, criticism or loss. Vulnerability is opening your heart despite fearing it will be hurt, even with the knowing that it will be hurt. All hearts are broken from time to time. Sometimes the break is small easy to take. Sometimes the break is big and tears the heart apart. Whatever the cause, and whatever the intensity, it is embracing it that brings us through it, not running from it.
Looking back to the lessons on maturity, remember the 5 things related to that, and how they all come together in the last lesson, Resiliency. Beginning with understanding and accepting our Yin Yang. That we are all dark and light and that is the grand design. We cannot be one without the other. Moving to LTSG, Let That Shit Go. Whatever we are facing, we cannot be resilient by holding onto it. We have to let it go. We have to allow all energies good and bad to flow freely through us. Next, we remember to stay balanced with temperance. Everything must be in balance, and so we know that everything has a purpose, right time, right thing, for the right purpose. We know that all things bring something FOR us, and so what is it we are to get from all things? Moving on to Ho’ oponopono; accountability, responsibility, gratitude and love, unconditional love. We accept our part in all things. We take action to be forgiven. We are grateful for the forgiveness we receive, and we send our love unconditionally, whether the forgiveness was freely given or not. Finally putting it all together is resiliency. We keep going. We keep trying. We keep moving. We never give up.
I had a recent experience that brought an additional concept to my mind. I have personally struggled with this many times in my life, and I think I might just have some new insight. What do we typically do when we are attacked? We instantly defend. What do we tend to think we should do if we are being bombarded with attacks from all around? We tend to think we should build up our walls and become better at defending ourselves. We think that avoiding things that scare us, people who offend us, situations that are potentially hazardous is how to keep ourselves safe, but we might be wrong to think that.
Consider this possibility. What if we are bombarded by attacks to learn to do something different? What if the bombardment isn’t there to teach us to protect ourselves? What if it is there to teach us to open ourselves up? Remember that whatever you are looking out for, you will see. Whatever energy you put out, will come back. If you put out protection and fear, you will draw to you attack. If you are focused on protecting yourself, you are going to see attack everywhere. What if instead you saw it all as opportunity to grow, practice, learn? The more you build your walls of protection, the harder it is for people to get through them. When they come down, when you tear down your walls, it opens you up to everything. Not just to attack, but also to love, compassion, brilliance, support, encouragement, collaboration, etc. When your walls keep out attack, they also keep out all of those other things. Your ego builds those walls indiscriminately. It keeps out everything that might challenge its sense of independence and self. It is all about self-preservation, and in self-preservation, there is no us. There is only me or other. There is no maturity.
Huge walls meant to protect us now become our prison. Everywhere we look we see danger. We build stronger, thicker walls to keep out the danger that is everywhere. In the end, we are alone inside our walls super protected from everything, including what might just save us. We cannot see love. We cannot see support and encouragement. All we see is attackers and danger. We cannot survive alone inside our walls. We cannot thrive alone inside our walls. We have to tear them down and open up to the possibility of love, life, dreams and in that we will also experience disappointment, loss, attack etc. But if we have let down our walls, we will not be alone inside them. We will be with others, our family, our friends, people we love and love us, and they will help us get through whatever loss we face. But we have to let them inside our walls, and we can’t try to trap them inside there with us. If we try to get others on board with our fears and bring them inside the walls with us, we will not get what we desire. We will cause more fear and protection from that person too. It will just draw more attacks and will separate us from others.
This battle of life is not won by those who are best at offense or defense. This battle of life is only truly won by those who can bend with the wind without breaking. I do not stand rigid in the face of a storm. I bend as the wind blows. I do not brace against the mighty waves. I allow them to wash over me and cleanse my body and soul.
In the face of attack, do you defend, protect, build walls? Do you let the attack come and wash over you to teach and cleanse your soul? All things are for you. Use it, all of it.
Whatever others think of you is their stuff. It is a reflection of how they see you, not you. Yet, there is always something of you in it, but not necessarily the thing they think it is. People think that I am arrogant, that I think I know everything and am always right. That is not what I think, and sometimes I know that I act arrogantly because I do think I am right and others are not, sometimes. Most of the time I know that I can be right, and wrong at the same time. I also know that just because I know something doesn’t mean something opposite to what I know is wrong. There is room in life for more than black and white, and right and wrong. There are no absolutes. I can behave arrogantly at times, but who I am is not arrogant. My ego might be arrogant from time to time, and I am not my ego.
I focus on my core. Who am I at my core? I am love. I am unconditional love and acceptance. We are all unconditional love and acceptance at our core. When we go into protection mode, we are focused on ego and judgement of others. We lose touch with our core selves. Yes, being open and loving and accepting unconditionally will open us up to potential harm, and we love and accept anyway, and are grateful for the opportunity to practice it. Love ourselves unconditionally. Accept ourselves unconditionally. Love and accept others unconditionally. That is the key to all things, resiliency to name just one. People who are resilient do not give up on themselves, and they do not give up on others. They are not protected behind huge walls. They are open to love, and they also are open to pain. There is a Yin and Yang to all things. To love unconditionally does not mean nothing bad will happen. It means that even when the bad things happen, you will be just fine, because you are always safe, strong, supported and abundant.
Namaste –