I have been complimented by many people on my emotional strength, stability, calm, and quiet spirit. I have been praised for my intelligence, ideas, creativity, and problem solving abilities. I have been told that I am valued for my ability to write and speak clearly and motivate people. I have been complimented on my ability to inspire, educate, and evoke emotion and peacefulness in others. That all feels really good, and is very much appreciated.
Here is also what people say about me, though not always to my face. They say that I am lazy. That I am inactive and sedentary. That I am a dreamer, philosopher, and thinker, and those are not meant as compliments. I have been accused of not contributing because what I contribute is emotional, intellectual, or spiritual and not a tangible product or action. Because what I produce cannot always be seen or touched, I am sometimes accused of not producing anything of value.
This dichotomy is probably not unique to me. I am certain that around the world and especially in the United States, many people are living in a world where being in their natural state, whatever that is, is both praised and criticized.
This idea of laziness is the one I want to focus on today though. People like myself whose energy is more focused on emotion, thought, spirit and general energy balance are often considered lazy people. Lazy is not an accurate term though. Lazy means, on a definitional front, not motivated to action on things that need action and for which we are capable of action. This insinuates both that motivation is lacking and that something needs action, and that the “lazy” person is not taking action where action is needed. In my case, and in the case of many people I know who are like me, neither of these is the way we see things.
I do not see actions that need to be taken and not do them. I am also quite motivated to take action when the need does arise. The challenge comes when action oriented people believe that I am not taking actions they see as needed, and therefore I appear unmotivated to take them, and since I do not, I am called lazy. There are many problems with this assessment on the part of those who would call me lazy. They are making assumptions about many things about me that they do not actually know to be true. Just because you and I may not agree as to when and what action needs to be taken, does not mean that I am lazy for not acting.
Putting aside the term lazy for a moment. Consider that some people are doers. They take action and accomplish tasks of a tangible nature. All people are doers on some level. There are exceptions to this I am sure, but most people are both capable and motivated to take actions and do so to some degree every day. When I talk about doers, however, I am talking about a person whose natural state is one of action and movement. Doers are a very necessary part of our society. Without doers, necessary things might not get done. Therefore, we need people whose natural state is one of movement and action in order for the world to continue to function.
I am not a doer. Movement is not my natural state. My natural state is sedentary. I spend most of my time thinking, imagining, creating, solving, processing, engaging with spirit and collective energies. I watch. I think. I process. I create. I solve. Very little of that involves a lot of movement. Not that I do not produce anything tangible from my efforts. I do. I am the Director of Training at my company. Much of what gets produced is training materials for my company and people I support. It does take a lot of thinking and processing to create training though. I have to learn things before I can teach things. Learning involves thinking, processing, mental practice etc. While I do the inactive parts of my job, people watching me might think I am not doing anything at all. It certainly does not look like I am. Hence lazy might be something used to describe what I am being in those moments.
People watching me in my personal life might also make that assessment. Because they do not see the fruits of my mental labor as often as people at work do, they might be even more inclined to think that I am lazy and don’t do much of anything.
I wonder. What if what is happening in my mind, spirit, thoughts and energy connections while I am “not doing anything” mattered just as much to the functioning of society as the actions and doing of other people? What I am suggesting is not that there is less value in doing than in being. What I am suggesting is that someone like myself who spends more time being than doing might just be contributing equally to the functioning of life.
I am asked to be a leader, a source of information, a decider, problem solver, source of strength, stability, calm, etc. I am asked this in my job, but more importantly, I am asked this from my friends and recent significant others. How do you suppose I became someone who was asked to be those things? I can be sure it was not through all of the time I spent doing things. I know this because I do not spend a great deal of time doing anything. What I have physically done did contribute to the skills that are called upon in these asks. However, my sedentary and thoughtful nature had more influence on these skills than actions did. Any action I took was thoughtfully processed before taken, sometimes to a significant delay in action or choice not to act at all. Even the actions that contributed to my skills were born of inaction and thought, and so thought is the root of it all. Yet, when I am in a state of inaction, many people see me as one who is not contributing equally to those who are in action and contributing by doing.
I propose that is inaccurate, and for me personally, those accusations and devaluing of my contributions has been quite damaging to my self-confidence and ultimately has also destroyed relationships. Now that I am at a place where I am learning that my contributions, whether they be action or inaction, doing or being, have equal value to the world. I am less inclined to be harmed by someone’s accusation of laziness or lack of contributions of value. I also know that I am old, and it took me a long time to realize this.
If you are like me, consider this: Just because you are not doing, does not mean what you are being isn’t valuable. It also does not mean you are lazy. This term is thrown around too loosely, and that is harmful. Try not to think of yourself as lazy even if that is what others think you are. Focus on what you are being. Your ability to be present with yourself, your thoughts, your imagination, etc. is just as meaningful as anyone else’s ability to do something tangible. We persons who are good at just being, are contributing, and many people benefit from our intangible contributions every day, even if they do not realize it. Realize it for yourself. Remind yourself that being is important and necessary for humans, just as much as doing is. We cannot all be doers. If all of us were doers, there would be a significant imbalance of energy and lack of thoughtfulness and presence. Some of us must simply be, which is often a sedentary nature.
Doers, thank you for doing. Your actions matter and make the world function properly. I also request that when you see a person who is sedentary “not doing anything,” that you consider what they are being as having equal value to your doing. What we are being matters and also makes the world function properly. If you think someone is lazy, first ask yourself if it is possible that their inaction has value in another way. What contribution do they make when they do not take action, when they are simply being?
Also consider one more thing. A thinker, someone who is more comfortable being rather than doing, is a skill. Consider as a doer how difficult it is for you to be still and simply be, exist or experience without doing anything. If you are a doer, you might find being still quite difficult. For those of us who are not doers, who are more thinkers, the effort to take action can be just as difficult for us as being still is for you. That means it might take us more time to get moving, we might not see the need to move as urgently as doers do, and we might move more slowly and accomplish less tangible results whenever we do move. Remember that this is our action state. The action state of a thinker looks really different from the action state of a doer. Not that we cannot move quickly if it is necessary, we just don’t see as much need for this as most doers do. There is no judgment here of the doers or the thinkers. Not saying doers do not think or thinkers do not do. We just do both of those differently. I am suggesting that we both see each other as having value for whatever our natural state may be, action or inaction, and offer grace to the other when we do not see things in the same way.
Namaste