I don’t know where this what is probably a rant belongs, but I am drafting it here. I am just so tired of the hate. I am tired of people hating on people who are different, trans, gay, drag superstars, etc. I am tired of the people who are being hated hating right back at their haters. There is too much pain in this world to hate your hater. I get it. I am in the current focus hated group. It breaks my heart that anyone who knows me or knows others like me would spout or support people spouting the hateful and harmful words and taking the harmful actions against us. It is not US vs Them though. It is just us. We are all in this together. If you hate me, you hate yourself. If I hate you back, then I hate myself. There is not enough love in the world to heal all of this viciousness.
You know what happens when we forget that we are all one species, all one energy, all one soul, spirit and being, we are all simply just ONE with one another? When we forget that, we all suffer, and we will destroy ourselves. If I say to you, the way you are acting in the world, with the group you are aligned with is causing suffering in the world, and you reply, well, your group is also causing suffering in the world because it is causing me to be uncomfortable too, that is the highest form of avoidance I can think of. People don’t want to talk about their role in the suffering of the world. They just want to talk about what others are doing to the world and causing problems. The thing is, that what people are focusing on is not what is causing the suffering.
Statues of David, drag queens, people struggling to align their gender identity in ways that affirm their well-being, people trying to make sense of their spiritual side and life among all of the hate and separation, are not the problem people. People trying to be okay in the world, trying to find their sense of self, trying to be okay when nothing seems okay anywhere are not the problem. We are all in this together. Why are we targeting those who are struggling the most as the perpetrators of suffering? We are all suffering. I get it. But seriously, are you as a Christian person suffering because some person on the planet is struggling with their gender identity and is choosing how to express themselves in a way that aligns their body and soul, but isn’t what you think they should be doing to do that? Are you seriously trying to tell people that someone you don’t even know trying to take care of themselves mentally and physically is a threat to you because you don’t understand it or think you would do it that way? Okay, you think it threatens your way of life because it goes against your beliefs and values. I get that. If someone is living a life that conflicts with my values, well, I don’t see that as a threat to me at all. Not until that person tries to make me change my values to match theirs. Well then we have a problem.
And that is where the haters are going down the wrong path. They are trying to tell other people what the one Right way to believe, behave, express gender, align gender, dress, perform, entertain, create, do art, pray, meditate, connect with spirit, etc. is. There is not one right way people. I get it. If we do not align with your one way, then we are against you and threatening you. Seriously though, do you really think that me just living my life believing different things from you threatens you in any way? Are you just afraid that more and more people are straying away from that one right way to believe because it is, in fact, NOT the only way? Are you worried that if more and more people stray away from it, then it might just be proven to be not the right way to be. Then you might have to agree it is not the right way to believe, and then WHO ARE YOU NOW!?!?!? Well, that sounds uncomfortable for you. Oh, and that is exactly what people who were raised in the one right way had to go through to become the “woke” beings they now are, you know, the ones who threaten you so much. If we can survive it, so can you. If your way of being is sooo right, why can’t it be questioned? Why can’t it stand up to the idea that other things are out there? Why do you have to fight so hard to force people to see it in your one right way if it is in fact the one right way? If it is, then nothing else will pan out as being valid or right, so just sit back and wait for those of us on the wrong path to figure it out and come to you for advice. Just live your one right way and others will see how right you are and come to follow you. If you have to force and threaten people to come to your way of thinking, try to control people, hate and destroy those who do not align with your values, then what does that actually say about the validity of your one right way? How right can it be if you are having to control people and force them to follow your way? If it was the one right way, people would always come back to it in the end and there would be nothing to worry about for you. Thing is, it is not the only way, the one right way, in fact the more twisted the Christian message becomes, the less like the way it was intended to be it becomes. It isn’t even the way the one right way was originally intended anymore. It is so far from Christ’s message that it isn’t even Christian anymore. It is more about power and greed like the Pharisees that killed Christ than it is like Christ and his message.
It just makes me so sad and angry. I don’t hate Christians. I am highly disappointed in them as a group and several of them individually. I don’t hate right wing conservatives, but I do find them scary. They are saying words that indicate they believe that I should be dead. While I was suicidal most of my life and might have been dead without the support I had along the way, if they had their way, I’d be dead. I shouldn’t exist, but I do. Threatening me. Threatening small children like me and their parents who are trying to help them in their imperfect ways is not helping the situation unless you want more children to die. This recent attack is to me proof that the Christian church needs to stop their hate mongering of people who are trans or any type of queer. It is not new to the world. It is not some sort of abomination or even not from God. Whether the Bible directly addresses it or not is not the only way to tell what God thinks about it. What would a loving God think of their children who struggle to conform to what a twisted and restrictive society tells them is “Normal”? They would love them exactly how they are and want them to do what they need to do to align and affirm who they were made and intended to be. I am not smiting God to affirm the gender in my body to the gender in my mind and soul. I am affirming myself how God made me to be. I am BEING what God made.
Truthfully, God is not God to me. God is god, and more of a universal energy that lives in all living things and is not some actual physical or spiritual entity of one being. God is us. We are god. There isn’t “A God” out there puppet mastering the world, saving us, dying for us, monitoring our prayers and giving us what we want when we worship Him. That is not what god is. God is love, unconditional positive regard and compassion for all living things. Not greed or power. Not judgement or hate, it is the positive, loving, being that is in every person, whether that person can connect with that energy within them or not. Christianity is not the problem. Believe what you want to believe. The problem is that Christianity is not the ONLY way to connect with the energy that is god among us. When they start saying it is, we all lose and people die.
We must become comfortable with being uncomfortable. Why? Because it is within this uncomfortable conversation that we can connect and see that we are not different beings, we are all one being, and we are all just trying to survive this meager existence. There is nothing more and nothing less to do than to just be our best selves while we live here. Anyone trying to stop or control how someone else is trying to do that or figure out how to do that is not just hurting that person, they are hurting themselves. We are all just poking ourselves in the eye to try to stop others from poking out our eyes. It is stupidity.