Developing Maturity

Maturity takes time and practice to develop. As mentioned, experiences are our teachers. You don’t have to try to manage your experiences to ensure you get ones you can learn from. Have faith that whatever experiences come your way are what you need. The trick is not to try to arrange the experiences so that you can learn something. It is to use each experience as your teacher and find the things to learn. All experiences can teach maturity, if you do the work to make that happen.

There are 5 important lessons to look out for in any experience that can guide you toward the island of maturity.

• • • Lesson 1: Yin Yang Harmony
    • Lesson 2: LTSG, Let That Shit Go
    • Lesson 3: Temperance
    • Lesson 4: Ho’ oponopono
    • Lesson 5: Resiliency, or Semi-Colon

Let’s start with Lesson 1: Yin Yang Harmony. The Yin Yang is an ancient symbol. It’s been around for centuries representing the harmony of life. It is a circle divided into to a light and a dark side. Within each side is another circle of the opposite quality. Yin Yang is often misunderstood. People sometimes believe that the opposites are actually opposing forces in a struggle to exist. Like we have to constantly work to keep one side in power or in check depending on which side you value. That isn’t the intent of Yin Yang. The intent is that there are always natural designs that are linked in order to create a whole. No part is able to exist without the other. They are not intended to struggle against one another, but to exist in harmony and peace with one another. There is no light without the dark. There is no sunshine without some rain. There is no peace without some war. No life without death. I’ll go into more details on how this plays out in maturity in a future post. Just a taste of the ideas here.

Lesson 2: LTSG, or Let That Shit Go. You can say Let That Stuff Go too if that is better for your sensibilities. You’ve probably also heard, “Don’t sweat the small stuff. Pick your battles. Water under the bridge. etc.” All of these ideas are the same. Most things are not important beyond this one moment in time. Once the moment is passed, take what you need from it, and then forget about it. Let it go. That can be tough. So many people I know hold grudges. They don’t want other people to take advantage of them, hurt them again, get one over on them, get away with something, etc. They are trying to control the lessons other people are learning, instead of controlling their own. That is not their business. It is not my business either. It’s the universe’s, God’s, whoever’s, but not mine or yours what other people are supposed to be learning.

We are here to support one another. In a moment, when you notice something that someone might be able to help them grow, yeah, point it out. Maybe you forget in the moment, so point it out later, okay. Then LTSG. Not your business after that. When your life is over and you move to the next dimension and review your life, do you really want to still be holding onto a whole bunch of little shit that happened to you? While you are still here living your life, holding onto shit from the previous moments is living in the past. You cannot ever have a peaceful, joyous life, holding onto the past. You can only do that in this moment, which means that baggage from the past, YOU HAVE TO LET THAT SHIT GO!

Lesson 3:  Temperance. Not an easy lesson and has elements from lessons one and two. Temperance is about the right thing at the right time. It is a balancing act. The Right Thing though is not what you think. The right thing, might seem like the wrong thing. We are always truly doing the right thing, even when it seems wrong. There is a purpose to the thing everyone does when they do it. The purpose might seem obvious, and it might be more hidden. You do not have to focus on doing or being the right thing at the right time. That is the catch. Don’t try to do right or be right. It’s cultivating the idea that whatever is happening, whatever you are doing, or someone else is doing, it’s all the Right Thing at the Right Time in perfection. Temperance is learning to read how what is happening is “Right”. It is the perfection of keeping on your toes and seeing the world for what it is, perfect, always. Don’t try to do right, just do. Don’t try to be right, just be, and know that there is right in everything and everyone, we just need to notice it.

Lesson 4: Ho’ oponopono. Forgiveness is the key to Ho’ oponopono, but it is also about accountability, responsibility, gratitude and love. The practice is originally from Hawaii, but it has been adapted for many purposes. It is the art of apology and forgiveness. It is your job to ask for and give forgiveness. In all things, ask for and give forgiveness. Your forgiveness is not for the other person. Please remember that. When you forgive it is for you. It is for your heart to release the hurt and suffering you have been holding onto. See lesson two.

In Ho’ oponopono, you state 4 things:

First, I’m sorry. That is you being accountable for the harm you did. In any situation, everyone is accountable for something. That is maturity, and Us mentality. You begin by acknowledging that you are accountable. Second, Please forgive me. You then ask for forgiveness. This forgiveness might be from yourself or another person, either way. You are responsible for asking. Then gratitude, Thank you. It does not matter if the other person forgives you. You do not need to wait for it to come to move on. You ask. You imagine that even if the other person in their human self does not forgive you, their higher self will do it for them. You assume you are forgiven, because you are. Especially when you forgive yourself. Then ending with love. That is where it always begins and ends really is with Love. Our core beings are ones of love. We forget that almost all of the time, but in Ho’ oponopono we remember that. Love is the key to forgiveness. The energy of Ho’ oponopono isn’t about trying to get forgiveness from someone. It is about taking accountability and feeling forgiven by yourself mostly. Whether the other person actually forgives you or not is their business. To feel and be forgiven is to forgive yourself. Then of course, Lesson 2.

Lesson 5: Resiliency or Semi-Colon. The semi-colon suicide prevention movement caught my attention after watching the 13 Reasons Why Netflix show. It was a hard show to watch, and also pretty real. There are always so many reasons to hurt, hate, and suffer in this life. People who are in that place of sadness and depression see only the reasons to hurt, hate and suffer. Lesson 5 is about not letting those reasons stop you. A sentence with a semi-colon goes on. It is two thoughts and ideas connected by not a period that ends one idea and then a new sentence that begins another, but by a punctuation that means we continue this thought now. It is a symbol of resiliency of life. Our lives don’t end, they go on. Even after death really, and also within this life, we can have many incarnations. We can lose everything and start over, move, change, grow, and always begin again, not ending life and staring a new one, but as a continuation of this life reinvented. Resiliency is the skill of being able to keep going even within and after hardship. The lower symbol inside my semi-colon tattoo means perseverance. Keep going. No matter what, just keep going. Don’t stop or get stuck, keep moving forward. Don’t get stuck in the past or worry about the future, just keep moving forward.  Cultivating resiliency takes practice, but, if you are still here, you have learned a little bit about it, right?

Each of these lessons will take some time to digest. This is a tidbit on them. I will expand in the next several articles.

Namaste