If Locus of control is about what drives the ship, the Focus of Control is the direction the ship is headed. Not sure if I ever heard of Focus of Control as a term before, or if I made it up, and that does not matter. It is the other side of how we choose our path in life. Locus is who is driving. Focus is why are we driving there? Think about it in terms of asking, “Who will benefit from this choice, action, thought, feeling, goal, etc.?”
In terms of the analogy, think about it like it’s the ship’s Compass and the Navigator working together to set the course for the captain. In order for a compass to be useful, it has to have a good sense of what is true north, right? What is your true north (TN)?
Immature TN is set on either others or self, but not both. If I am focused on making sure that others are safe, cared for, and comfortable, but I am neglecting myself in order for that to happen, that is an Other TN, and an immature sense. If I am more worried about myself, that I am safe, cared for and comfortable, that is a Me TN, and also an immature way to look at things.
All people are equal. We are not all the same. We do not all have the same skills, talents and abilities, so there are inequities in that way. What I mean by we are all equal is that we all are equally of value and importance. I am not more important than you. You are not more important than me. We are the same value.
I have had some pushback in life on that idea also. People want to push that some people are just bad and not of equal value to good people. Yes, some people do bad things, sometimes very, very bad things, but that is not who they are at their core. All humans are loving and good at their core. You can argue that with me all you want, but all humans have a soul, and all souls are loving and good, even if the bag of bones, skin and brain cells carrying that soul around has forgotten that. At the very least, the soul will remember who they are when they die. While they are here on this earth, treating them like what they do is who they are will not help them remember any faster. In fact, treating them like they are evil because the do evil is more likely to reinforce their memory loss. Treating them as the loving and good soul that they truly are is a much better way to get them to remember. Even if you don’t succeed and reminding them of who they are, you still keep your soul on track and connected to who you are, loving and good.
True North is all people are equal in value and importance, and so, life is about choosing for the greater good and what benefits everyone. That is not an easy TN to follow. It’s not about sacrificing yourself for others or vice versa. It is trying to decipher what is the balanced good for all?
Star Trek reference: “The good of the many outweighs the needs of the one” -Spock. “The good of the one outweighs the needs of the many” -Kirk. Who is right? The answer is both of them are. Watch Wrath of Kahn and Search for Spock to see why.
If your TN is set on others, and sacrificing or putting your needs aside consistently, you will not arrive at maturity island. You will be driven into a storm of all storms of pleasing others, caring for others, and burning yourself out.
If you set your TN on yourself, and sacrifice what others need, you will also not arrive at the island. You will be capsized by the
tsunami wave of Me, become selfish, isolated, lonely and depressed. Even if you have everything you want, if you are pushing aside the needs of others in favor of your own, you will also be pushing others away, which never ends well.
In all honesty having a TN of either Other or Me will not end well for anyone. I have seen more suicidal people who are focused on either others or themselves to the extent that they cannot even stand the pain that has resulted from their actions. I was one of those people. I have alternated in my life of either focus on others over me, and then me over others. Neither of those will work. It has to be a focus on Us. I am not of the impression this is easy to do.
Whose Navigating with that compass is what makes the difference. As with a helmsperson who doesn’t listen to the captain, you can state and truly believe in a True North that is focused on the benefit for Us, but if your navigator doesn’t believe in and have faith in that compass to be true, they will plot an inaccurate course away from the island.
Fear is what pulls a navigator away from the compass’ direction. Fear that others will get mad, see them in a poor light, take something from them, get
something more, etc. They might look at the compass and see what the TN direction would be, but they are so afraid of what might happen if they choose that. They do not have faith that Us is the right path, that they will choose to direct the ship in another direction of pleasing others, caring for others, running away from others. Focus on Other is a perfect storm for disaster.
Fear is a Me thing too. That fear that others will get something I don’t get, that is a Me thing and an Other thing. Fearing that I will suffer if I don’t steer toward me, that I will not be safe, have the things in need, lose in some way, is not a TN of Us. It is about seeing only the impact on yourself, a Focus on Me. What happens when the navigator ignores TN and goes toward themselves, the SS Ego gets slapped by the
Me wave, and over the ship will go. Tossing not just others out, but ultimately everyone gets tossed.
How do we get our compass and navigator on board to find the island of maturity? We stay focused on True North that believes in and has faith in the power of Us. If I remember that what benefits me, can benefits others, and what benefits others can benefit me, and that it is okay for us all to see the rewards of things, I will stay on a TN of us. I also have to remember that if I fall, then others will fall, and if 
others fall, I also fall. I can’t seek to bring others down to lift myself up. That won’t work. It always tears me down too. I can’t tear down myself without tearing down others. If we get to the island, we have to get there together. If we crash, we crash together.
Align your compass to the True North of Us. Keep the greater good and benefit for everyone in your mind as often as you can. When you decide to plot a course, navigate in the direction your compass tells you to go. Have faith in your TN. Have faith in the power of connection and that what is right is what is best for everyone. Don’t put yourself down. Don’t push yourself ahead. Just be authentically you and point to your True North of Us.
Namaste