Balancing Act

I have a core value of achieving balance in life, relationships, work, play, intelligence, emotion, etc. In all things, Yin and Yang and balance. I have a Yin Yang tattoo, two actually. Despite it being a core value, I often struggle to know and find the balance in some things. I am never completely sure of anything, always questioning, never totally settled on an answer for any one thing. The target of what is balance is always moving. I am starting to believe that the moving target is actually part of the achievement of balance, and perhaps it is not something you find once and for all, but continually work to find.

In isolation, single moments of my life do not seem balanced, but if I look at a larger picture of my whole life, I see an ebb and flow of things. That flow is in perfect balance in combination within all of the moments, even if each individual moment is not balanced. It is as though balance is not achievable in a moment, but only achievable over time. Like balance isn’t the teeter totter holding still in the middle at a level place. It’s the teeter totter in motion moving up, then moving down, moving up, then moving down, all in balance with the other motion. In the definition of Yin and Yang, it is a not a static balance. It also is considered an in motion flow of energy. I have been trying to achieve balance and stay there, when balance is lost the moment it is something we try to hold onto.

Instead, I am working toward shifting the thought to balance of all things over time, to the flow of energy balance in life. I am more about movement than static holding. More about floating along in the stream than standing still in the middle of it. Still, I believe I will find that challenging, to allow the flow naturally. I tend to want to control the flow or push it into certain directions. I believe it is my nature to respond to the world around me, not to push it around or direct it, but to create in response to the request of the universe. When energy reaches out to me, I respond with my energy. When I reach out first, it also works, as when I reach out, it is usually a response to an internal drive to connect. So whether the request is from my own soul calling me to act, or from an outside source reaching out to me for connection, I respond. That seems to be how my balance works best.