I hear a lot lately about being grateful for what you have, for how things can be opportunities, how it’s important to be grateful, etc. In a time of crisis, people often struggle with feeling grateful for anything. Having positive feelings about something and being thankful that it is here is always a good thing. In stressful times, finding those moments can be difficult.
I find that many people are getting better at feeling personal gratitude. That is that they can find things in their world that create feelings of value and worth inside themselves and can feel grateful for those things in their life. They look outside of themselves and see how the world is benefiting them and feel good about those things. That is awesome. It is also conditional gratitude.
When things get tough though, if that is the only sort of gratitude that you know, it will be hard to stay in a space of gratitude. In this crisis, many things in our lives are sort of falling apart, our jobs, our finances, our relationships, our toilet paper supply, etc. Not everything makes us immediately feel like it is beneficial to us. Gratitude in these moments takes effort.
It also takes a level of person responsibility. If you are waiting for life, the universe, other people to do things you are grateful for, that will happen naturally from time to time. Right now, though, those things might not be happening. Are you still feeling grateful? If you are, then you are taking responsibility for your own feelings of gratitude. You are not waiting for things outside of yourself to be grateful for. You are seeing what is, and being grateful for whatever that is. That is unconditional gratitude. That sort of gratitude can be sustained through any crisis and any windfall.
How do you know what type of gratitude you have? Consider what you say thank you for, to others, to yourself, and to the universe. Do you say thank you when others do nice things for you? Do you say thank you when you get something you wanted? Do you say thank you for good fortune, praise, compliments, kind words, etc.? Saying thank you for those types of things is more of that self-focused gratitude. You are grateful that something felt good to you. There is nothing wrong with doing that. We all do it, and it is important to do. The other type of gratitude is different, though.
Consider if you are grateful for things that do not feel good to you. Do you say thank you for honest feedback, even if it wasn’t positive? Do you say thank you for not doing something for you that you can do for yourself? Do you say thank you for not doing something for you that you now have to learn to do for yourself? Do you say thank you for losing a job? Do you say thank you for challenges and opportunities in all things positive and negative? This type of gratitude is not about getting something and being grateful. It is about being grateful for whatever is. If you are only grateful when you get something, you will not have much gratitude when things are tough. If you are grateful for whatever is happening, regardless of what it is, you will always be grateful.
Why is this important? Right now, it is exceptionally important because things are not great all over the world. People are getting sick, some are dying, there are not enough supplies of many things, people are panicking and doing harmful things, people are losing jobs, being furloughed, feeling rejected and unappreciated. Being grateful for those things can be difficult if you are usually more of a grateful when it benefits me type of person, or grateful for good things type of person. That might mean, you are not feeling particularly grateful right now.
Why does that matter? Why should I be grateful right now? Life sucks, why should I be grateful for that? You might be asking this. I’ll tell you why; Immune system responses. Gratitude is a great way to boost your body’s immune system response. It is an elevated emotion that tells your body that life is safe and good, and it can resume functioning in a healthy manner. Being ungrateful and angry tells your body that you are in danger and need to reserve energy for fight, flight or hide responses. There is no energy for health in those emergency responses. Your body in stress is responding to danger in the environment, and in that space, it cannot take care of other functions like being healthy. Gratitude in this time, might save your life.
If your body is so stressed by what is happening and worrying about what might happen, it will shut down your immune system and focus on those dangers. You will not sleep or rest well, make unhealthy choices in other areas like food and movement, and your body will not be able to protect you if you do come in contact with a highly contagious virus. Not trying to scare people into being grateful. That would not work anyway. Fear is the opposite of grateful. Anger is the opposite of grateful.
My point is simple. Being grateful is not a selfish experience. It does not matter what the universe, your employer, or other people are offering you in this time of global pandemic. You can be grateful, truly grateful, for what you have. Whether you like what you have or not does not matter. It is here. Being grateful just means you appreciate that it is here for you for a reason, and are thankful for the opportunity to create from it. Be grateful for the things that are others are offering you, yes. And be grateful for the losses. Be grateful for the challenges. Be grateful for opportunity to be alone with yourself and see yourself more clearly.
Things to do to practice unconditional gratitude: Practice feeling grateful for the usual things that feel good to you. Imagine placing that same feeling onto something that does not feel as good to you. Feel that same gratitude for something you don’t like, that isn’t comfortable, or wanted. That is not as easy as it might sound. It takes practice. Be patient with yourself while you practice, and be grateful that you have lots of time to practice right now.
One more thing, when you are conditionally grateful, you tend to close off your perception to anything that might not be good for you. In that you miss the immense possibilities in everything. When you are unconditionally grateful, you are completely open to anything, and so, you will perceive all the amazing things life has for you.
-Namaste