I came to a realization this morning. I think it has been developing over the course of several years, potentially developing all of my life. I am a questioner. I am not one to take something at face value and believe it just because someone said so, no matter how smart or important I believe that person to be. When I hear something, I consider it. I work it over in my mind. I try it on in my life, either virtually through imagination or live through my choices, actions and practices. Everything I write about regardless of where I heard it first or who I learned it from, has been thoroughly processed in this way. At this point, I realize I have developed a belief system that seems to be contrary to the belief systems I was taught as a child as well as, the belief systems many people adhere to in this world. I have studied my personal beliefs and compared them to other people’s, so I know that I am not alone in what I believe, I simply realized with a bit of shock today that what I now believe might actually be challenging to others in that it does not line up with their beliefs. I do think that is why people on the internet often leave the comments that they do. I have not had those sorts of comments here, but I have certainly seen them on the websites of the people I am learning from who are in alignment with my beliefs.
People do not like their belief systems to be challenged. People tend to believe that what they believe is the “truth” and so, any challenge to it is a challenge to them personally. It’s a potential challenge to their ego. Ego builds a structure around who we are and then uses that to dictate our actions. Often we develop this system over such a long period of time, we don’t even realize what the structure is based on, until it is challenged. Then all the sudden we feel threatened because what we thought was true might not be true, and the ego freaks out and starts trying to defend and resist this new information that does not match, and does all kinds of pushing and pulling and adjusting to ensure that it does not get left behind as we grow and struggle to learn. This can actually impede learning. If we are so determined that what we believe is right and should not be challenged, we will certainly struggle with any idea that does not seem to align. I have experienced this struggle often.
In my childhood, I was taught that there was only one way to believe. That there was only one truth out there, and that anyone that did not agree with this one truth, was wrong and should be worked on to try to get them to believe in this one truth. If you were brought up in any sort of traditionally Christian home, that might sound familiar. The teachings that represented this one truth came from the Bible, and that is the Bible according to our church representatives and my parents, not necessarily from our personal understanding of the Bible, but the church’s understanding. From a very young age, I questioned the interpretation of the Bible. I saw many inconsistencies within the book itself as well as within the teachings related to it. Many things I felt they were teaching did not match what I heard the Bible saying. I questioned and questioned and to this day, I always question everything, including my own beliefs and values constantly.
I believe this questioning is healthy and that it comes from a divine inspiration. I do not believe that we are meant to all believe one thing. I think we are each meant to find our own way and our own set of beliefs and values and way in which to live them out in our lifetime.
As humans, we tend to surround ourselves with people who are like minded, who are traveling the same pathways and journeys we are. This is comfortable. There is less to be challenged in this type of connection with others. We feel safer and more reassured that we are on the right path because those around us are saying, “Yes, we are with you! You are going in the right direction. I am going too! Let’s go!” When we encounter someone who is not going in the same direction as us, not attempting the same goals or beliefs systems we are working to find, we experience conflict. We experience insecurity. We experience a challenge to our ego. In that moment, we have a choice. We can resist. We can argue against what they are bringing to us and hold as tightly as we can to our previous choice in direction and beliefs. Or, we can relax, breathe, and remember that what another person believes is not right or wrong. What we believe is not right or wrong, but that we can all learn something from one another. We do not need to resist what another person is bringing. We also do not need to reject or accept what they are bringing necessarily. If we are open to the enormous possibilities in the universe, whatever another person is bringing is a gift for us. It might reassure us we are on the right track for our personal journey. It might challenge us to question our path and even change our direction. We get to choose. We can ignore it and hope it goes away, or we can open up and really try to see what is there and actually be active in our choices, rather than passive. Passivity comes in many forms, passive rejection without fair consideration, passive acceptance without fair consideration, or passive ignorance meaning not even seeing what is being presented so you make no decision. No decision is probably more like a rejection, because you aren’t considering if you should reject or accept, you are just ignoring it, which is kind of a rejection, but again, it is passivity.
I choose to be active in participating in my life. If someone comes to me in the form of a challenge or the form of a support, I will question it. I will actively engage with it. I will do my best to be an active player in how I interpret, adopt or adapt to what is presented. I will also be active in whether I choose to reject it. I am also not a fan of rejecting other people. Just because I do not agree with your ideas or beliefs, does not mean I do not like or respect you. I might reject your idea, but that is not a rejection of your person. If you feel like it is, that probably means that your ego was super identified with your idea and made that idea become what is your value as a person, so then rejection of that, is rejection of your value. My ideas are not who I am. My ideas are not what gives me value as a human. They are simply the ways in which I choose to make decisions and live my life, and while they are very personal to me, they are not me and do not determine my value to the world.
I encourage people to question everything. I encourage you to take an active role in determining how you want to show up in this world. I encourage you to develop your beliefs and values intentionally and with a conscious and mindful practice. If you do not wish to do this, I support that also. I cannot tell you what your life path is supposed to be. Perhaps your current life path is one of being passive and not being conscious of your direction. That is a life path choice that is just as valid as any other. All experiences of life are valid ones. Whatever your purpose in life is, all are valid options for living a life. You are the only one that knows what sort of life you have chosen to live. So, I also encourage you to simply live the life you were meant to live, whatever that life is.
-Namaste