Holidays can be a challenge. So many expectations for how to be, what to do, where to go, what to give, what to get, etc. It’s enough to make the average person want to take a nap, and when it is over, we all need a nap!
I want to challenge us in a different way. Instead of focusing on all of the expectations coming from inside yourself, or those coming from outside sources, what if we just focused on being.
Instead of giving gifts to get people to feel something specific, what if we just gave a gift we thought people might enjoy, and then completely let go of any expectation for how they should respond? Instead of planning a get together that should be like this or like that, where people should do this or do that, what if we made a plan and then completely let go of the results, and just went with the flow of how things turned out?
When I consider a gift, I hope I choose something that will make the person smile, but I work on not having an expectation that it should make them smile. I try to be okay with whatever they think of it or feel about it. Their reaction is not mine to control.
We spend a lot of ego energy trying to control how the holidays should be or should go. That energy expense tends to be more effort than result. It is all dependent on other people responding in ways that we want them to, and we truly have no control over that. Let’ see if we can let it go so that we do what we do with the hope for us all to benefit, and then let go of the actual results and go with whatever happens. Doing this would most likely lead to energy increases vs. depletion.
“Loving What Is”, is a book by Byron Katie. The short version of this is that when we love what is, we can be nothing but happy and satisfied. The moment we start to see reality as something that should be different, we begin to create suffering. Around the holidays and with all of the expectations, we are bound to create so much suffering being attached to things being a way that they are not. Loving however things turn out is the easiest way to have a happy holiday. It’s all good, whatever it is.
So, have a happy holiday! Love what is, whatever it is! Let go of the expectations. Let go of the “shoulds”, “shouldn’ts” and “need tos . . .” you have rolling around in your mind, and enjoy every day like it is the best day ever, because it is! What is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves and to others? Easy answer, gratitude and love! (which are pretty much the same)
-Namaste