Core Values are the beliefs and principles by which you live your life and make decisions. They are demonstrated in your actions. You have heard that actions speak louder than words, and I have said that behavior is communication. If something is a true Core Value, you don’t have to think about it, you just act on it consistently.
Sometimes, we have values that we are not acting on. We might want to have something as a value, but we struggle to act on it consistently. That doesn’t mean it’s not a value, but it does mean it isn’t a Core Value (CV). We call those Desired Values (DV) instead. Something you want to value, but struggle at times to live out in action.
An example might be that we want to value generosity, but when given opportunities to give of ourselves, time, money, energy etc., we choose not to give. Instead, we conserve, and preserve for ourselves. That might be caused by fear of not having enough for yourself. That is a common barrier to being generous. That suggests that Security is a Core Value and Generosity is a Desired Value. Neither is right or wrong, good or bad. They just are what they are. You have choices here. Embrace that your CV is Security, with perhaps a side of generosity when you can spare it. Or work to let go a little of security to allow for more generosity. Choose to intentionally be uncomfortable and be generous, even when it scares you. Choosing to do something when it isn’t easy demonstrates that something is a true value. It is easy to be generous when I have way more than I need. It is something else to be generous when I may not have enough for myself already or am always on the edge of not having enough. I do realize that generosity and security are not easy things to balance for most people. I am over simplifying for the exercise in understanding values.
What are your values? Are they Core Values you live, breathe and act on consistently? OR are they Desired Values that you want to believe in and act upon, but struggle with living out in action? If you are unsure, complete the attached Core Values Exercise by clicking on the underlined text.
How did you do? Are you living your values? If not, do not despair. You are not a bad person. You are human, and humans often struggle to live their lives with the intentions they want to have, and you can change that. In the exercise. you have an opportunity to re-evaluate your values as many times as you like. You also have the opportunity to set intentions for actions that will demonstrate what you want your values to be. Keep working with them until you feel comfortable with how you live out what you believe your values to be, until they are true Core Values.
-Namaste