As Spring approaches I am reminded that things do change. Change is both inevitable and necessary. Humans, though, tend to dislike change at best and fear change at worst. We like our routines, our places for things, our things in general. Even if something in our lives isn’t working for us, we don’t like it when it tries to change. We get comfortable and used to things how they are, and when they start moving, we freak out. Even if we want the change to happen, it still creates a lot of stress through the inevitable transitional moments.
Everything in life is temporary. Everything, including the lives we cling to! When we start to get worried about losing something or someone, we cause ourselves stress. This constant stress related to the anxiety and fear of losing things that matter to us creates a cycle of stress that keeps our bodies in fight or flight mode continuously. There is a great deal of scientific study around this topic, so I won’t go into all of that detail here.
For today, simply notice your resistance. Each time you feel resistance to something that happened, is happening, could happen or is about to happen, you are causing stress to your body. That will translate to illness and disease eventually, if you keep doing it.
What if you noticed this resistance, and instead of intensifying your need to hold onto something, you did something different?
When you buy something, do you feel anxiety over the money leaving you, even though you get something cool in return? When something breaks, are you upset or mad at that thing that broke or whatever it was that broke it? When you can’t find something, are upset at the loss of something that is yours to have? Think about all of the little losses your see in your day and how you respond to them with anxiety, fear, anger, and/or grief because something isn’t the way it was before, or how you thought it was before. We know that our memories for how things were is not always super accurate. Each time you do this, you release stress hormones into your body. It doesn’t really matter to your body if you get a little bit upset about something or a lot about something, it is how you hold that upset over time. 10 little tiny upsets that we hold onto for days or years translates into long-term stress just like living in a war zone. Our bodies just see stress and need for us to protect.
Let’s not try to change today. For today, notice how many times you do it. Just notice it. Don’t try to stop it or change it, just notice it happening. Notice what it is about, notice why it is there, notice how long it lasts on its own, without you trying to change it. Just start to get a feel for how often you are creating this low-level, or high-level, stress response to change in your environment, yourself, or other people.
Noticing is the first step to any growth, notice the current pattern.
Mantra for the day: Today I notice my anxiety, fear, and anger over losses both big and small. I will purposefully draw my attention to when I cause myself stress over change or loss.
Namaste, I notice myself, and I notice how I respond to you.