Seeing other people is seeing yourself. As we look at other people physically or at their actions, we judge them. Don’t feel too bad about that. Being able to judge things is part of what makes us human. We judge each other constantly, no matter how hard we try not to. It is neither good or bad that we do this. It is just what we do in order to make decisions about who we want to spend time with and doing what things. There is a difference between judging and being judgmental though.
I have thoughts about people all of the time. I am not particularly proud of some of those thoughts. When I was younger I was certain that the thoughts I had about other people were true. They were not, and they are not now either. What I think of other people is not about them at all. It is always about me and my current state of being in the moment that I judge them.
Am I in a loving state of being? If I am, I will be forgiving and understanding when I look at you and judge you less than perfect. If I am in an anxious or insecure state of being, I might see the same things in you, and feel afraid or angry. Not about you. You are always who you are and do what you do. What I judge you as, is me. What I determine you are from that judgement is about me and where I am in that moment as a human.
We all do this. We are not bad people when we do it. We are human. This set of blogs is about having our best life. Our best life is always here, we know that. What kind of life do you want to create in this moment though? The more negative and harsh your judgements are of others and of yourself, the lower your vibration will be, and that will lower your quality of life.
The good news is, you can raise your vibration by judging yourself and others differently. Yes, it is true we often make snap judgements we think we can’t control, and you might not have control over your judgements at this time. However, you can learn to control them.
First step in controlling your judgments is to be aware of them. Notice when you are judging others. When that thought that someone is awesome enters your head, notice it. Notice how you were feeling right before you had that thought about the other person. Notice how you were thinking right before that thought. Notice how the rest of your day had been going, life had been going before you thought that thought about another person. Begin to notice the patterns of judgment. Begin to notice what is happening on your side of the judgment when it happens. Then when you think something more like, that person is a jerk, and why are they so stupid or mean, also notice how you were thinking and feeling right before you had that thought. Notice who and where you are in that moment of judgement. Just start by noticing, being aware and paying attention to what is going on inside you as you judge others.
Second, remember that you always see the world from your own point of view, even when you think you are not. I like to pretend to put myself in another person’s shoes. In truth, that is only me thinking about how I would be in their shoes, not me actually being in their shoes. It is a good start though, using your imagination to pretend you are them. You will always see another person through your own eyes, your own baggage, your own judgments of yourself and the way you think the world should be. It will be clouded by you. It is important to remember that you never see another human clearly as they truly are because you always see them through yourself.
Third step is developing an attitude of compassion and gratitude. Whatever another soul brings into your life is a gift for you. It might be pain. It might be money. It might be praise, or confusion, or guilt, or anything else that we may or may not enjoy. All of it is FOR you. Life and what other people do is always FOR you. We tend to think that life happens TO us. That we have no control and no ability to stop it. While that might be true, that we have no control over what happens and we cannot stop it, that does not mean it is not FOR us. In your life, you have learned so many things. In the moments where you felt like life was happening TO you, were those the moments you learned the most, gained the most strength, wisdom and perseverance? I know they tended to be for me. And so, gratitude for how whatever is happening will be there for me to grow in whatever way I am meant to grow in this moment. I am grateful to those that try my patience, for they give me a chance to practice patience with myself. I am grateful to those who cause me harm, as they teach me compassion for myself. There is nothing another person can do to me, that does not benefit me in some way. It only takes gratitude and compassion on my part to see what that benefit is.
Sometimes that is really tough. In the hardest of times, I saw nothing of value in myself, and nothing of value in anyone else. People were constantly trying to harm me, bring me down, cheat me, etc. I saw no value in any of that. It also nearly killed me to be in that state. I know many people were that state of being did kill them. My journey was to survive and grow from those tough moments. I am not talking about a couple of months of struggle. I am talking about years, at this point, half of my life feeling like there was nothing to live another day for. Now, having survived those years, I can honestly say that I am grateful for them. I would not be who I am today without those moments. I have learned so much about who I am and how powerful I really am. I can survive anything. More than that, I can find joy, love, compassion, and peace in the face of anything. I know this, because I have done this.
I am old, at least I feel old. To some people I am really old. However, I am hoping I am only half way through my completed life on this Earth, though I can never know if that is true. I will be 53 this year. 106 is not a bad lifespan, right? I may not get there, but who knows what life has in store for me in my next 53 or more years? What I do know is whatever it is, I can create the best life ever within it. I also know that we can all do that.
Always begin simply with awareness. Once you are aware and paying attention remind yourself that your vision is not perfect. It is uniquely your version of truth, which means it is only for you, and about you, not about others. Third thank the universe and everyone and everything in it for being a gift for your best life. Gratitude and compassion are the keys to having the best life ever. Hold those in your heart. Wipe them across the lenses of your vision. You will see the gifts all around you. It does not matter if what you see is “true” or “real” or not. It will always be what you make it be, and that makes it “real” and “true” to you. So, why not make it something awesome? If you can see trouble and evil all around you, you can see love and beauty too. The best life ever is choosing to see the life you already have full of love, compassion, beauty, and peace.
I am full of love and compassion for you all.
Namaste,