Thoughts are not Real
Everything that exists is a construct of the mind. Our minds created everything. If our minds create reality, then isn’t what is in our minds real? Not really. Because we created it, it is no more real than anything else we might create, so nothing is real. By real I mean permanently true. Every thought can change. If every thought can change, then nothing is real. We believe that 2 plus 2 is 4. That is because we believe we know what 2 is, and we believe we know what 4 is. That is simple math. What if 2 isn’t what we think it is? What is 2 is something else? Think about trying to measure something when you are typically a user of the metric system, but you are trying to use feet and inches. One is a base 10 interpretation of measure, the other is a base 12, with some base 10 increments. Both are arbitrary definitions of measurement that people said were real. Our minds are amazing at that. We can create any reality we want. That is why the technical advancement of virtual reality is so interesting. We do not understand that all of life is virtual reality. It’s just that so many of us agree with what is really real in this reality, that when it is not like this reality we call it virtual reality. We say that it is almost real, or virtually real, but not really real. Again, it is all in your mind either way.
Byron Katie has a system of examining our thoughts called “the Work”. You can find the full process at thework.com. In brief, the process asks us to write down our most true and judgmental thoughts about something, anything. What do we really think is real about something? Then we ask ourselves some questions. Is that thought true? If so, how do we know that it is true? Then we ask ourselves to begin to open up space for it to not be true, for there to be an alternate reality to the one our thought is creating. We ask ourselves, “who could you/would you be without that thought?” Try to imagine your life without that thought, with a different thought or with no thought about it. How to achieve this is by trying on other options, the “turn arounds.” Turn the thought back on you. Turn the thought outside to another, turn the thought to the opposite. All of which does not make the thought change, but causes us to examine how real the thought really is. If you can imagine the thought being the opposite, then is the thought real? If you can turn it in your mind, how real was it in the first place.
Our suffering is caused by attachment to our ego’s thoughts of what is real. If someone calls me a name and I think that has something to do with my identity, I am hurt by it. If someone calls me the same name, and I think it has more to do with their identity, I think they are rude. If someone calls me a name, and I think, “They called me a name.” That’s it. That is all I think, no judgement, then what? Which of those do you think will cause me suffering, my judgement of myself, my judgement of them, or the simple realization of what is happening, without interpretation, so no judgement. Think about what sort of suffering can happen when an ego is a monkey mind and takes over a thought about something.
Our egos are very fond of the word “should”. In the previous scenario, the name calling judgements will sound like “should”. They should not call me names. I should not be like this so people will not call me names. I should change so I don’t prompt people to call me names. They should not be rude like that and hurt my feelings. You can see how that might go even farther in your ego’s monkey mind.
The thing is, what if I said, “They should call me names if that helps them. It doesn’t mean anything about me, and who or what I should or should not be?” Could that also be true? Which causes the suffering? Our ego and monkey mind think that suffering is coming from outside of us. It is not. I have pain. Every day my feet and back hurt. I do what I can to relieve it, and I am marginally successful most days. Some days, I am not at all successful. The level of suffering I experience due to my pain however is not dependent on the level of actual pain. The suffering is dependent on how I think about my pain. The more I wish I were not in pain, the more I think I should be doing something different to relieve my pain, the more I think I should not have to suffer in pain, etc. The more I actual suffer in whatever level of pain I have. Pain in life is not optional. Suffering is. We, that is our ego self, create our suffering. If we are being controlled by a monkey mind, then our suffering is likely to be very great.